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Attention: This post contains VERY blunt and honest statements. Please remember that I am sharing from my heart, and check your judgment at the door.

Putting on a front is something I’ve always been good at. Expressing a true depiction of what was inside my heart and mind was always too overwhelming for me to handle and so I would just put on a good face and make everyone think that I was fine.

I’ve been a mess lately. There has been a sort of block on me that has been preventing me from putting on my “happy face.” And in turn, everyone has been able to see all my emotions. I’ve begun to realize that God hasn’t allowed me to put on a front because it’s only me lying about what’s real and true. The fact that I’m sad is what’s real and true, and showing everyone that I’m happy is a lie. It’s as simple as that. It’s a LIE. Same with me being upset. Same with me being stressed. Same with me feeling ANYTHING.

Showing emotion is not only necessary, but it is a key to be emotionally and spiritually healthy. If I live behind a front everyday of my life, I am being an emotional hoarder. I don’t want to let go of any emotion because each one reminds me of someone or something.

God wants us to be able to express our emotions in a healthy way. And the only way to do that is filter our emotions through the Lord BEFORE they overtake our hearts.

This is something that I struggle with constantly. Breaking my bad habits of handling my emotions is something that I have been trying to work through for years. My past ways of dealing with emotions have proved themselves to be totally wrong.

Throwing things when I’m mad is wrong.
Laying in bed all day because I’m sad is wrong.
Yelling at everyone and their mom because I’m stressed is wrong.

I know that the only way to break through these habits is to read the Word, pray, and seek the heart of God each and every day. These good habits are hard work and they require me making a choice to give of my own heart.

This semester, I am determined to put in the work and effort needed to push past me. To practice being like Christ and not to hate myself for making mistakes. To build and repair relationships with people who uplift me. To be a better example of Christ for those who see me each and every day.

Will you join with me in these efforts? Will you push past your own walls and fronts to be the person God has called you to be?

Have an amazing day!
Bethany