That’s where I’m at right now. I don’t have much else to say.

Today’s a new day. Let’s make it a God day.

Putting on a front is something I’ve always been good at. Expressing a true depiction of what was inside my heart and mind was always too overwhelming for me to handle and so I would just put on a good face and make everyone think that I was fine.

I’ve been a mess lately. There has been a sort of block on me that has been preventing me from putting on my “happy face.” And in turn, everyone has been able to see all my emotions. I’ve begun to realize that God hasn’t allowed me to put on a front because it’s only me lying about what’s real and true. The fact that I’m sad is what’s real and true, and showing everyone that I’m happy is a lie. It’s as simple as that. It’s a LIE. Same with me being upset. Same with me being stressed. Same with me feeling ANYTHING.

Showing emotion is not only necessary, but it is a key to be emotionally and spiritually healthy. If I live behind a front everyday of my life, I am being an emotional hoarder. I don’t want to let go of any emotion because each one reminds me of someone or something.

God wants us to be able to express our emotions in a healthy way. And the only way to do that is filter our emotions through the Lord BEFORE they overtake our hearts.

This is something that I struggle with constantly. Breaking my bad habits of handling my emotions is something that I have been trying to work through for years. My past ways of dealing with emotions have proved themselves to be totally wrong.

Throwing things when I’m mad is wrong.
Laying in bed all day because I’m sad is wrong.
Yelling at everyone and their mom because I’m stressed is wrong.

I know that the only way to break through these habits is to read the Word, pray, and seek the heart of God each and every day. These good habits are hard work and they require me making a choice to give of my own heart.

This semester, I am determined to put in the work and effort needed to push past me. To practice being like Christ and not to hate myself for making mistakes. To build and repair relationships with people who uplift me. To be a better example of Christ for those who see me each and every day.

Will you join with me in these efforts? Will you push past your own walls and fronts to be the person God has called you to be?

Have an amazing day!
Bethany

As a student at 2 schools, there is a ton of overlap in assignments and finals. Having papers due, and tests to take really takes a toll on a person. I am super blessed to be able to further my education and my spiritual life at the same time in two amazing schools.

I have another paper to write, and then a test to take on Monday.

Here’s some thoughts for the day:
In John 20:3-7 (NIV), we see Peter and another disciple coming to see if what Mary had told them about Jesus not being in the tomb was true.

 ³ So Peter and the other disciple started for the tomb. ⁴ Both were running, but the other disciple outran Peter and reached the tomb first. ⁵ He bent over and looked in at the strips of linen lying there but did not go in. ⁶ Then Simon Peter came along behind him and went straight into the tomb. He saw the strips of linen lying there, ⁷ as well as the cloth that had been wrapped around Jesus’ head. The cloth was still lying in its place, separate from the linen.

God brought me to this verse last week, and really placed it on my heart to look into the meanings behind this specific passage.

As I began to read the scriptures, I instantly thought of the death of our old selves and the spiritual resurrection that we are brought through when we become intertwined in a relationship with Christ. We are just like Christ in that we figuratively die to our sins, and then God raises us up into a whole new person. We are changed from the inside out. In death, the organs inside of us stop working, they shut down. In resurrection, those organs are brought to wholeness and healing again. There is a total restoration of the life inside of them. The same way that when I decided that my relationship with Christ was more important than my own plans, the things that were inside of me: the lust, the desire to sin, the hatred toward people… all those things died within me. Then God raised me up, and brought to life a desire to run after him, a need to worship my Christ, and a LOVE toward all the people around me. There is NEW LIFE.

People that don’t understand what happened to me are like Peter and the other disciple that ran to the tomb. All they can see is the remnant of the death. They can see the strips of cloth that remain from my past life. They can always see the past junk, but when they see those things… they should NEVER see me back in it. The fact that I am missing from the old life, the tomb, a literal representation of DEATH, is a testimony to the repentance, the 180 degree turn, the complete ravishing of my heart, mind, and soul by Christ!!! There is such a great representation of LIFE in the remnant of the tomb. Just as the tomb is always a symbol of the resurrection of Christ, I firmly believe that it should be a reminder of what Christ brought each of us from!

WOAH!!! The Lord just blew my mind with all this!!! I am so excited that I just got to share this with you!!!

I hope this encourages you just as it encouraged me.

Love, Bethany

So this post is to basically pour out my heart in hopes that you can see where I am, and that God would work in mysterious ways to get me to my goal of $5,500.

Papua New Guinea was NOT my first nor my second choice for the trip I wanted to go on. I was so consumed with my own selfish desires to go back to Africa that I completely blocked out that still small voice of God that says, “GO THERE.” It wasn’t until God brought me to my knees in a time of worship not more than 24 hours later that I finally heard LOUD & CLEAR that Papua New Guinea was His destination for me.

I can’t be the tool that God wants me to be if I try to follow my OWN desires. I MUST submit to the wisdom and authority of the ALL POWERFUL God that created me.

Ever since that day when I heard the clear voice of God, I have prayed and begun preparing my heart for this trip. I was informed that, in a cool twist of life, Papua New Guinea is a small country surrounded by countries filled with white and asian people, but the PNG people are black. The PNG people themselves associate with Africa, because that is the closest continent with people that look similar to them! So how cool is it that I wanted to head off to Africa, but God is sending me to a place where the people associate with Africa?!?!?!

I am just so in awe of how God works. He truly has blessed me to be able to go on this trip, and I am so ready for all that he has for me.

Ever since I started seriously preparing for this trip, God has revealed a few scriptures with which I have written short sermons. I HAVE NEVER WRITTEN A SERMON IN MY LIFE. I actually have a fear of preaching, because of insecurities inside myself. I can literally see God tearing down my walls and building my strength to be able to preach without inhibitions and fear.

There are so many things that I could say in this post, but the little things above are what my heart is shouting to write about.

Please prayerfully consider supporting my trip.
I am eternally grateful for all the people who will support me in this amazing opportunity.

If you would like to make a TAX-DEDUCTIBLE donation, please click on the “Donate to my PNG Trip!!!” above and follow the link to the Sunshine & Steeples PayPal account.

Thank you, and may God bless you in this holiday season!

Bethany : )

I am so incredibly excited for the semester to be over but I am stressed as well with deadlines closing in.

Woohoo for finals week!!!
So close to being done!!!

At this point, I have already completed 2 finals, and I have one tomorrow. Then I have a paper dues Wednesday and then another final and paper due next Monday!

Yay for attending 2 schools at once!!! : )

Good luck on your finals!
Goodbye.

If you would like the above support letter mailed to your home, please let me know and send me your email address!

Thank you so much for your support!
I love you all!

First thing…
Today in Real Christianity, a class at CFNI, we learned about the 5 Love Languages! It had been a good 10 years or so since I had last heard a teaching about them, so I was ecstatic to hear it! Jamie McCain brought an awesome teaching about the Love Languages that really helped me to understand my family and friends more.

I found out/confirmed that I am mostly a Quality Time person, but I also enjoy Words of Affirmation and Receiving Gifts!

If you would like to take the test, go HERE.

Second order of business…
I have been approved to be on the Summer Outreach team that will be headed to Papua New Guinea in May 2012!!!!!! It will be a 3 week trip that I know will be absolutely life-ravaging. (And I’m on with that)

God has called me to go to Papua New Guinea and I am OVER THE MOON ABOUT IT. There are so many things about the trip that scare and worry me, but the moment I begin to pray about them… God shows me through other people and leaders on my team that He’s got everything under control and I’m going to be just fine.

I am so excited to begin the journey to Papua New Guinea.

I will begin fundraising soon, and your support would be the greatest thing ever! I will have more details soon in order to assist you if you’d like to donate. : )

If you leave me a comment, I will make sure that you get a letter that will explain everything you need to know!

I really love my readers!

Thank you so much for even reading this. Sometimes, I just need to type things out.

Peace Out
Bethany

If you have never done it before, attending TWO schools at once is pretty stinkin difficult. It’s hard to keep all the different assignments up to date, make sure I’m reading all my materials, and even just separating CFNI and UTA mindsets. I can’t necessarily go preach in my UTA classes, although I want to sometimes. : )

Bringing God to the forefront of ALL areas in my life has been my latest struggle. CAN I GET A WITNESS?! Haha… I’ve been really struggling with making sure that all my thoughts, actions, and even my school assignments are glorifying to God.

My Social Work classes are especially hard because of the BROKENNESS and HURT that I can see in all these people in my classes. I can’t even imagine WHY they would even try to help other people without helping their own lives first… Last week, we talked about abusive relationships, and I kid you not that almost half the women in one of my classes told some story about an abusive spouse… I just sat quietly to myself and prayed. I felt that it was all I could do not to break down and start preaching… but maybe that’s what I should have done.

I look back on all the times that I pushed my inklings to show God back, and I continued on my own way… and I realize a saddening trend. Which is that it happens A LOT.

Well. Right now, I don’t want to type anymore. And I’m in need of some serious prayer.

TTFN – Ta ta for now…
Bethany

I’m a girl, with SUPER long hair. What else was I going to do?